The Relationship Rollercoaster is a ride that we have all been on in our life from one time to another. This can be a really fast ride for some and for others it is a ride that people stay on for the rest of there life.
For some it starts off really fast and firery, and for others it can be a very bumpy journey in the world of relationships.
We can look at this ride from several angles
Expectations: For some we want so bad to find Mr. or Mrs. Right and tend to confuse goals of the relationship with expectations and build a mould for a perfect relationship. Don't get me wrong it is ok to have goals and direction it keeps things going forward which keeps this at a healthy sate but sometimes we self create fantasies of the perfect relationship and try to live them through our partners and when it does not happen frustration anger and resentment takeover. This can lead to controlling dominating situations that can infest a relationship with toxic venom due to self created expectations that lead to even bigger problems if it is not taken care of early in the relationship. With a goal the difference is you and your partner discuss your goals of where you are and where you want to be. As a team afterall that is one of the defining traits of being in a relationship.
Commitment Some of us may ask these questions when is the right time to commit? If I do not commit will I loose the person? No of course you wont but if you commit to something that you are not ready for the sake of keeping the relationship going then inevitably you will end up resenting yourself and your partner and it can scare your significant other off because of the pressure of commitment. It should come naturally and not seem like a task.
When the moment is right it will happen there is no set time line on when someone should or should not commit. This should simply be left up to timing, chemistry, connection, and ones future goals. It is very easy to overlook this due to pressures from family, society and friends they tend to cloud our judgment and the focus shifts from the two people involved in the relationship to fufling society and family expectations. For example you know that feeling at Christmas when grandma or mom says when are you going to settle down......Get married and give me some great grand kids....... Then the panic button goes on cause you have heard this for four Christmas straight.
Just smile and tell mom and grandma all in good time and then think long and hard do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person or do I really want to date one person and only one and if there is even a bit of hesitation don't do it cause you are only going to give into temptation and hurt yourself, your partner and family.
Lust and Love: Some of us confuse these two and think they are the same thing but really they are so different. So the question is when do I know I am in love
the way you can test yourself is by asking: when I wake up do I think of that person, when I have a bad day do I think of that person, when I am sad do I look for that shoulder, when I want to tell a joke do I pick up the phone and call and when that person is not around do you feel less whole if you are answering yes to most of these questions then yes you are feeling the true signs of love and really the true test is if you can't give yourself 100% to the one who gives you 100% then you have to love them enough to let them go.......There is no point in giving half when the other is givin you 100%
Lust on the other hand is that feeling of being in love, desired and the fear of being alone you create a vision and scope out people that have the same vision as you it really is a craving of desire to try and feel love, wanted and appreciated because there is a huge void in your heart and nobody has come along to fill . Some create images of the ideal mate which is not the problem. The problem is this is a fictional feeling that we dream up. If it is love everything in your soul and being will guide you to it
We have been ont his ride from one time or another just think of it as planting a tree set the roots, keep it watered see it grow and fill it with passion love and honesty and watch it blossom into a something naturally beautiful. Once you reach this point the relationship rollercoaster comes to and end and you come off it and go on another journey.
The Journey of Love.
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